“May my thoughts be full of Peace and Thanksgiving” is how I begin my writing prayer. I consider this blessing among the three that I ask for before sitting down to write my blog.
Today as I sat with this first gift, feeling the peace that thankfulness brings, I took a moment to look more closely. What was I giving thanksgiving for?
First, gratitude for my living situation always washes over me. I look around and feel the peace of a safe, comfortable and quiet living environment. Close on the heels of that comes gratitude for my close-knit family. My children, in-laws, grandchildren and husband. They love, respect and support each other. This extends to my sister and brother and their children. How lucky I am!
However, today something new slipped in. I have gone back to listening (yet again) to Long Pilgrimage, the audio book about the Shivapuri Baba. Hearing about his extraordinary departure from life at age 137 and my own end-of-life thoughts in general, combined with an exercise that inserted itself into my morning sitting. “This is me, this is not I.”
So, as I looked at my feelings of gratitude, and what they gravitate towards, I wondered about removing the material focus of home and family. In other words, what fills me with gratitude that is of a spiritual nature? That is outside of ego, outside of me and mine?
Within the contemplative practice of the rosary, one of the Joyful Mysteries is finding the child Jesus in the Temple. The inner piece of that is “love of the hidden internal life of Christ.” I recognize that love of the hidden internal life. It is the fruit of inner work on oneself. Thanksgiving arises knowing I have tasted this.
Close on the heels of this is the experience of grace. That rare moment in my life when something opens and a light shines in. It seems unrelated to effort, yet it has happened to me when I have been engaged in ongoing work. Grace always comes when it’s least expected which makes it even more astonishing.
Yes, both my inner and outer life are full of thanksgiving. When I contemplate this, it does bring me peace. Perhaps this is what the Shivapuri Baba means when he enjoins us to “live right life and think only of God.”