Bennett used the Sufi term faná. Which is a good way to express something on the spiritual plain that isn’t served by being pinned down. It could be experienced as the inner crossing of a threshold. Or finding oneself suddenly in a different place in oneself. Possibly like a death, as in “die before you die.” Surrendering. Learning a new operating program. Entering unfamiliar territory for sure.
How might we know we’re experiencing a faná? I think there are tell-tale signs. The rug getting pulled out from under you for one. Feeling fearful but not sure of what or why. A shift in your inner state to one you’re not familiar with.
Stepping out of an old space and into a new one inside ourselves requires letting go of familiar supports. Or at least being willing to face the perceived risks of letting go of the familiar. The fear I experienced recently during an inner exercise was of losing my moorings, my balance. For me, it felt like I could be stepping into “woo-woo” land. Which I know can be dangerous territory. And yet…
There’s truth in the adage, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Seeking Help in Facing a Faná
So, I turned to those who could council me. One reminded me that in moments like this it’s OK to ask for help from Saints, guides, or loved ones beyond this world. It hadn’t occurred to me to do this since I’d been comfortable for so long with my current operating system. The faná was signaling me that it was time for an upgrade. Another fellow traveler recounted his terror of losing himself. Or at least of who he thought he was, faced with his faná. He reminded me to “trust the Work” in which we are engaged.
The reality for me, as for my friend, was that I have not gone off the rails. Instead, I have become aware of a subtle shift inside myself. A new “center of gravity” as Madam de Salzmann calls it. What is more, I am finding myself drawn to operating from this place. A place that is new for me, where I can grow from. It feels right and good.
My initial fear of the unknown, contemplated rather than run away from, has allowed me to embrace this faná. To pass through the barrier of my fear to a better place in myself.