The struggle between yes and no is a basic theme in the Gurdjieff work. It can also be framed as working with likes and dislikes. “Do what ‘it’ doesn’t like and don’t do what ‘it’ does like.
We worked with this intensively during Lent on our course at Sherborne, many giving up all forms of sugar, some also giving up dairy. Silent fast days were introduced then as well.
Since returning home from the course, I continue to practice Lenten abstinences each year. This discipline often includes giving up sweet deserts, coffee, chocolate, and alcohol. This year was no different in saying no to things I like.
Then, in one of the groups I’m involved with, someone proposed we work with the struggle between yes and no as a theme. I had not contemplated yes and no as a theme for many years.
No or Yes?
What I saw, was that my relationship with looking at yes and no has shifted. I’ve always focused on my struggle with “no.” This time, I realized I needed to pay more attention to my struggle with saying “yes.”
Here’s an example:
I’m in a planning group and most of us have worked together for years. Someone outside the “usual suspects” was proposed as a member and I immediately said “no” to including them. On reflection, I realized that I have said no in similar circumstances recently. In a couple of instances, I was overruled and later found my objections were unfounded.
Why this resistance to agreeing with a suggestion that isn’t my own? One that catches me off guard. I see how automatic my no is, and how it is tied to my emotions. There’s an emotional flavor in this I can begin to know. The question is, can I recognize this flavor of reaction and set myself up to use it as a reminding factor to Work, to say Yes.
Looking at choosing yes over no when everything in me wants to say no, is a personal task I can take on to expand my work with yes and no.
Your comments here were helpful to me.