How do I pay the debt of my existence? Gurdjieff clearly puts the need to do this in front of us in All and Everything. But what does it mean and how am I to do it and how will I know if I’ve done it? I’ve wondered about this for years, thinking it must … Read more
This little light of mine, I’m gonna make it shine… The other day I caught myself wondering what earthly good my little inner-work efforts are, anyway? I see the suffering from war in Ukraine. I’m aware of the interwoven cultural-historical relationship between Russian and Ukraine, an obvious cause for anguish with many international families. Close … Read more
What do I mean, juicy? In last week’s post, I spoke of wanting to be “a juicy tidbit” as food for the universe. Or whatever it is that is higher and “eats” me. What do I mean by that? I noticed that the food on my plate nourishes something in me just by looking fresh, … Read more
I, too, am food. The depth of this reality has been evolving in me since last summer, when two things coincided. First, I listened to a 1973 recording of Mr. Bennett giving the exercise of trying to be present to the first bite of food. Second, I was introduced to a practice of cupping my … Read more
What is this wanting to remember? I saw last week that when something in me, like my self-interest, is involved it wakes me up. I was entering a room for a meeting and suddenly remembered to sense the doorknob. A task I had set and failed to accomplish a short time earlier. In the split … Read more
The reality of trying to line myself up on the fly to remember a specific inner task is this: It didn’t work but it gave an insight. Last week I wrote a high falutin’ blog piece about Feeling I; Sensing Am. Contemplating this post during my morning’s jog, I remembered the task I’d recently suggested, … Read more
“I” is a feeling, “Am” is a sensation in the I Am exercise as I’ve newly rediscovered. On our course at Sherborne I was introduced to stops during practical work. We would pause from our physical labor, be it gardening or construction or cutting wood, breath in “I” and exhale “Am.” I remember breathing in, centering … Read more
There is a place, a place of unknowing. I’ve been there. The problem is, how do I get there? Letting Go of Knowing I need to let go of knowing, of thinking I know; of insisting that I “understand” something in order to position myself in a familiar place. By understanding something I’ve already boxed … Read more
There’s a still, quiet, readiness I recognize from movements. It’s taken a long time to get there. Movements, Phase I When I was introduced to movements as a twenty year old, they were not that appealing to me. Too angular, too militaristic for my ballet influenced sensibilities. Then I experienced how they can change one’s … Read more
My understanding about chief feature is this: That each of us has an inherent central “feature” which is at the core of who we are and how we manifest. Everyone’s chief feature is unique. Gurdjieff called it chief fault. It was suggested to me by Mr. Bennett as the tint of glass through which I … Read more