I too, am food. That thought hit me hard while sitting on my deck in front of a wooden bowl. It was filled with fresh greens, sliced scallions, avocado wedges, Greek olives, roasted red pepper slices, pistachios, and bits of smoked salmon. I had just visualized each of these as vibrant life forms hanging from … Read more
Conscious labor and intentional suffering is suddenly more to me than yet another “work term.” This is because I had a taste of something. To begin with, I have an interest in seeing myself as I am. A wish to connect with others differently. The problem is, I tend to see the parts of me … Read more
What must happen in order not to die like a dirty dog as Gurdjieff warned? How do I get “behind” the dream? (for context, please re-visit last week’s post, Living the Dream.) The first thing that has come to me, is the weighty realization that this question is very personal. Quote me all the Gurdjieff … Read more
Am I living in a dream world? Gurdjieff says, “man is mechanical, man is asleep.” This has always rung true to me. It’s easy to see how forgetful and mechanical I am. All I need do is think about the same stupid arguments I have with my husband all the time. If I was more … Read more
I’ve just received good news and am suddenly wondering what to do with it. My daughter-in-law, Michelle, had a cancerous growth removed from her liver with clean margins. News to be thrilled about after two long years of heart-breaking worry. But what do I do with this good news? I’m used to working with feelings … Read more
Digging deeper in myself has brought a new dimension to digging in my garden. Several years ago, I began recognizing the fact that no matter how much attention I paid to body mechanics, I invariably threw my back out from digging. Eventually, I turned my vegetable beds into wild-flower gardens to avoid injuring myself. This … Read more
A struggle with my own patterns and those of Gurdjieff’s Dances epitomized my work during the recent ten-day International Movements Retreat at Claymont. My aim entering the retreat was to allow my body to learn the movements and to minimize thinking. However, there came a point, several days in, when I realized my head needed … Read more
The following journal entries are part of my memoir, Real People, about the inner journey of discovery I went on during J.G. Bennett’s Second Basic Course at Sherborne House when I was in my early 20s. Journal Entry December 2, 1972— Something in me is percolating. Like air bubbling up through the muck of a … Read more
