Death and learning can be linked. With the death of an old friend the other day, I learned something new. Even when the body is the last thing to go, it doesn’t have to hold on.
I’ve been reading about the Shiva Puri Baba in Long Pilgrimage by J.G. Bennett. The account of his death, at 130-some years old, describes him washing, sitting on his bed to meditate, then lying down and taking his last few breaths.
When it’s Time to Go
My friend was not a saint or a yogi, and his decline happened gradually, but in the end, there was a similarity. Initially, we watched helplessly as his functions began to depart over time. First cognitive abilities, then pleasure in food, then interactions. But for some reason, he could move, even rapidly. Yet he simply went to sleep on his couch the other night and by morning could not get up. By the following morning, he was gone.
Because Hospice was involved, the house was quiet, and his wife supported. I went to visit and was able to sit with him, still comfortably lying on the couch, with a faint smile on his lips. His face showed no struggle or pain. I believe he was ready and left this world gladly.
His death gives me hope that even as I exercise and take care of my aging body, I should not fear that a strong body will hold me back when it’s time to go. I worry about that sometimes. Of course, everyone’s death will be unique. The parts of myself that need to let go will have to be dealt with. What that will look like and how I’ll work with and without my personality, is an unknown.
What Counts Before Death
In the meantime, what I do now, counts. I continue to strive to live an honorable life, to grow the worthy part of myself and to contribute something to the world. Death and learning teach me this is an ongoing assignment.
I believe an honorable life is lived by accepting that I am a certain way. I must work with this knowledge and not deny its truth. As Gurdjieff has it, the wolf and the lamb must both be appreciated.
The worthy part of myself grows with my practice, efforts and resultant understanding. The notion of discernment plays a part here. How do I practice? What kind of efforts? Where is there understanding?
I contribute to the world through my actions and interactions. What I do and don’t do. How and with whom I relate. Paying the debt of my existence.
Birth is the starting gate. Death is the finish line. What we learn in-between is ours.