Habit and Identification

What’s the difference between habit and identification? I’m wondering about this. For example, there are certain habits that I have, like clearing the dish drainer and wiping the counters before meal preparation. It’s how I am, it’s what I do. I like cloth napkins with meals and making my bed first thing in the morning.

If habits aren’t the same as identification, what’s the difference?

Well, I had a moment the other day. I walked up to the Claymont Mansion for a meeting. In a rare sighting, I saw how I was walking, striding, really. If a stranger had been standing there, they would have seen that I was walking in as if I owned the place. Which, I feel I do. Claymont has been the fulcrum of my entire adult life. I am Claymont, Claymont is me. That, my friends, is identification.

The work as I imbibed it from Mrs. Popoff and Mr. Bennett identifies me also. I have habits associated with this—ablutions, morning exercise, inner work. The difference, I think, is that having a spiritual practice like the Fourth Way defines me to myself and my closest friends. Yet, if I forget to do ablutions, or skip morning exercise, or hit a dry patch with my inner efforts, I still feel like myself. If Claymont goes away, or there is no one to share my practice with, my identity will be injured. So, I am identified.

It’s the reacting and/or the attitude that is the tip-off to identification. The belief that this is who I am.

Habits that keep me healthy and mentally balanced are not the problem unless I cop an attitude because of them. Besides, using habits to work my way into seeing identifications can be useful, expunging them not so much.

Give me more moments of seeing this person that I am. What pushes my buttons? How does that manifest? Can I separate from my reaction and just watch it happen? Can I taste my attitude and relax it?

Working with Habit and Identification

The difference between habit and identification, is that I can change a habit without losing my identity. The Work is to come to the place where I see the attachment that makes me feel “this is who I am.”

With so many little “i”s that think they know who I Am, there’s lots of small moments of seeing. 

Once I see things I’m attached to, that I identify with, I look for chances to work with them. The things I see become chances to work. I see my identification with my habit of using a napkin and intentionally go without. Finally, the day comes when I realize I don’t have a napkin and I didn’t even notice. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop using napkins.

Maybe the difference between habit and identification is this: At the moment of death, it’s not going to be my habits I need to let go of. It’s going to be my identification.