I’ve been thinking about the interplay between ego, fear and identification around the issue of vaccination. Just to be clear, I’m fully vaccinated. Yet I struggle with my own mistrust of vaccinations. I am not convinced getting the vaccine is the best thing to do. But what interests me is this interplay between ego, fear and identification.
Ego
My ego feeds on being “right.” So when I take a position I find ways (in the media for example) to prove to myself that I’ve made the best choice. If I’ve made the best choice, then I can feel safe, righteous, and good about myself.
Fear
For instance: I’ve chosen to get (or) not to get the vaccine. I’m afraid of getting the virus (or) of how the vaccine will affect my body. I read, hear, listen to information supporting getting the vaccine (or) not getting the vaccine. I see myself as supporting the greater good (no matter which position I’ve taken.) This feeds my ego and makes me feel right (and safe) in my decision to get vaccinated (or) not to get vaccinated. My ego feeds on emotion (both positive and negative.) I become emotionally invested in my position because I fear the consequences of being wrong. Since I have convinced myself that I am right that means opposing opinions must be wrong.
Identification
The country is playing out this scenario, but it is also the scenario of our lives. This is the scenario of identification. How can we have an opinion and interact in life, yet not become identified? I believe the secret lies in disentangling emotional reactions from our thoughts so that emotion is not what fuels our self-perception. We need to see how we are and not feed our false ideas about ourselves. How we are is fuel for our Work. Rather than get caught in the fear of what I think, and what I think others think, let me see myself as I am and learn to watch myself with interest.
Let me make my choice and then accept the consequences of that choice. Let me allow others to make their choice without judging them.