What is my relationship with “unknowing” in Forth Way work? Especially since there is so much to learn and know about. Gurdjieff’s body of ideas encompass philosophy, psychology, cosmology, physiology, history, religion, metaphysics, musicology, science, math, dance, as well as practices. I’m sure I’m leaving something out.
Starting with a handful of texts in the 1940’s and 50’s, there are now a plethora of books on all these aspects from which to study and learn. Not to mention teachers and groups to study with.
Last week, during my morning sitting, something came to me. The exercise I was working with carried the sense of tilling new ground, held a flavor of wonder and excitement. But that morning I had a moment of pause, wondering how much my ego and personality were involved. The excitement evaporated. I wasn’t sure I could continue. There came a choice between lapsing into thoughts or resubmerging into the exercise, even if it was from ego. I chose the latter.
Unknowing Enters
Here is where my relationship with unknowing enters in. What allowed me to continue, even though some of the shine had tarnished, was a knew thought. That of allowing an “unknowing” to fill the place of judging myself.
So what if ego and self are involved? All I can do is what I can do. Working as best I can, is the outer form—the practice. What felt different, was carrying on with the exercise while at the same time holding a sense of “unknowing.” The unknowing helped separate the “me” that was doing the exercise (ego or no ego) and the sense that “something” could grow from this effort that I didn’t need to know about. In fact, better not to know about, like allowing a seed to germinate in the depth of the soil.
What I found at the end of the exercise, was a profound contentment to continue sitting for some time without directing my attention. How often do I sit within my own unknowing? That is a relationship I intend to explore.