Mr. Bennett gave the STOP! exercise sparingly. Sometimes it came during meals on our course at Sherborne. I would be talking with tablemates, or distractedly looking for the salt, or trying to get Jack’s attention. Suddenly the chatter would be rent with Mr. Bennett’s deep voice commanding STOP! Everything would freeze. My movement, my voice, my facial expression. In that moment one could catch a thought, an attitude, a gesture. Invariably I saw that I was not present. If I was lucky, I might catch just where I had disappeared to. I rarely did. Usually, I found myself wondering what I was supposed to be seeing about myself.
Nevertheless, my relationship with the STOP! exercise has always been one of respect. I understood that it was only to be used by a teacher who had been given permission by his teacher. Or so I believed was the case with Mr. Bennett and later with Pierre Elliot. Clearly, to give it one had to be present to the energetics of the moment. People were sometimes literally caught off balance and fell, but no one got hurt that I remember. Even after many years in the work, I have never felt sanctioned to wield the STOP! exercise.
Stops with a Small ‘s’
On the other hand, stops with a small ‘s’ were also part of my experience on the course at Sherborne. That practice called for ringing a bell or verbally inviting those working together to stop and come back to their inner work. With these stops I would sense my feet and take three or four conscious breaths. The two exercises were not to be confused. The STOP! exercise given by a teacher at a precise moment was not the same as stopping with fellow workers at set intervals of fifteen or thirty minutes to collect oneself.
The STOP! Exercise is Back
But something happened recently that brought the STOP! exercise back into my life, providing me with several insights about myself. This time I did not have to wonder what it was I needed to see.
At a recent seminar the STOP! exercise was used during practical work. We had been warned ahead and given a choice to either “freeze” or take a moment to collect ourselves. When it was called, I found I did not know how to respond. I was jangled and my internal confusion sent up all sorts of red flags. The STOP! exercise is not a choice. This is not how the exercise was intended to be used and I made it my business to privately say so. Probably the confusion as to which stop exercise was to be done was of my own making since I had previously tried to suggest timed stops would be more appropriate than calling a STOP!
Seeing Oneself
Still, aware of all this, I judged it fair to bring it up again. As I spoke, I was conscious of the emotion in my voice and mentioned it. That admission allowed me some space from which I later saw something central about myself. I’ll speak to that in next week’s blog. It has to do with Chief Feature.
When do you think the earliest instance of the STOP exercise was used? I mean, who came up with that whole idea…Mr. G was not its inventor I reckon. We have come to it midstream so to speak. Do we know its beginnings…? Sure looks like one was called in that painting by DaVinci — The Last Supper. I mean look at their faces!!! LOL
As far as I know, Gurdjieff was the first one to use the STOP! exercise. But you’re right, James, who knows where he might have come across that?