“Who am I” is not something I still ask myself. Who I am feels well established at this point, with all its gold stars and “room for improvement” notes attached. But writing a book has thrown me a curve ball I was not anticipating.
Since fifth grade I’ve always “known” I would be an author. Realizing this life-long dream of writing a book has been a big gold star on the chart of my life. A confirmation of that part of who I always thought I was. My burning desire was to be an authentic, published, author. The thing is, I want my book to be famous, but I don’t want to be famous.
When I was writing, I had a breakthrough when my internal point of view shifted to writing about Bobby Jo rather than about “me.” Somehow that freed me up to write about her, this person Bobby Jo that I knew. It allowed me to see her as a character. Now, I still want that separation. If Bobby Jo becomes famous, that’s fine. Roberta Joyce wants to grow her inner life and help others do so, but she doesn’t want to become famous.
Who Am I Now?
What is my responsibility since I always knew I would write a book, and Real People was the book I was supposed to write. By promoting my book, can I avoid promoting myself? Can I be the person I have understood myself to be and still be the person whom others may see as somebody I don’t recognize? Can I respond to this without ego or fear getting in the way?
Who am I in relation to this role as public figure is my new question. What is the opportunity for work here? Teaching and learning is a two-way dynamic, a two-way share, that I recognize. If I hold that as I field responses generated by my book, see the opportunities for sharing and understanding, I hope to find the work in this new moment of I am.
This is a great blog post! Glad you know who you are, I’m still trying to figure out who I am.