I caught myself monitoring my energy the other day. Jack was away all week at an art seminar, so my time was my own. I’ve seen in the past when that is the case that rather than being more relaxed, I get busier. I was using the uninterrupted hours to pack more into my day. Shopping, errands, house-cleaning, etc. etc.
By the middle of the week, I had worked up an ambitious “to do” list and was ready to attack it first thing. Then I had a moment. I became aware of an internal “zinging” feeling. Realizing this was an operational energetic connected to identification gave me pause.
Observing Energy Patterns
Monitoring my energy provided a cue to shift something in myself. Over time I’ve developed a distaste for this particular energetic. There’s something unhealthy about it. As in that energy is not aligned with my aim of being open to what is being asked.
When I am in that place of openness, it changes my connection with what I am doing and pivots my relationship with my energy. For instance, instead of jumping right into cleaning mode, I took time to write this blog to capture the moment of transition.
By monitoring my energy, I re-directed the aggressive thrust of cleaning (to git’r done) into an energy of flow, which included cleaning. I first experienced this shift on the course at Sherborne when we had periodic “stops” every half hour to come back to ourselves.
Working with Energy
When I worked in a group that stopped every fifteen minutes while preparing dinner, I was amazed. Somehow, those stops provided a space within which much was accomplished, seemingly effortlessly. The more often I came back to myself, the less identified I was. Over time, an inner taste for that relaxed, attentive energy developed.
Now I can tell the difference, monitoring my energy (sometimes) for myself. The more I have those moments, the stronger the ability to shift gears. It is based on a different kind of “like” and “dislike.” I have come to dislike the zinging, identified energy, and like the flowing, open energy.
Which doesn’t mean it isn’t work. Often, to practice that state involves going against the grain. Letting go of feeling impatient. Especially when what I want to do is being interrupted by someone or something else calling for my attention.
Supportive Monitoring
But those times when Jack has been away have taught me an interesting lesson. Left to my own devices, I have a hard time self-regulating. Having Jack around puts brackets around my day and helps me relax my doing mode. He won’t believe I’m saying this but it’s true. In many ways, Jack supports me in my work of monitoring my energy just by being himself.
Thank you Roberta. This description is such a familiar state.. I recently attended a talk where the speaker described a practice he uses called The Drop, very similar to the stop.. but with the Drop you just pause every now and then to just drop what you are doing, drop the shoulders, relax, watch the Breath, for just a few seconds. Apparently it’s connected with Dzogchen, but a nice Stop.. the Name is nice too.
I had a meeting this morning with. Mac techie to help me with my new MacBook. He was stealing me how he needs to break off from what he is doing regularly & loved it when told him about the Drop.. so interesting how the names update themselves but not the practices. We then wen5 on to have a really interesting Conversation about Nature & our being part of .. you never know When or Who
Sorry about the lack of copy editing .. he was telling me, not stealing me! I didn’t stop & check…. Aah Identification !