The question, “what is my responsibility” looked me square in the face the other day. What I began to see in response to an internal kerfuffle at Claymont was that neither the event, nor the people involved, were at the crux of the problem. I had to admit my own laziness towards the responsibility of nurturing an inner-work environment for those who live on the property at Claymont.
Historically, as Claymont transitioned from holding residential Fourth Way Courses to a public seminar center, the internal population changed too. The focus became serving the seminars rather than holding “work” events. As older residents left, newer ones who had not been on courses came in search of “community” or for other personal reasons. They were not necessarily drawn by the Work.
How Am I Responsible
Meanwhile, I had decided that I did not want the responsibility of being a group “leader.” Managing potentially frail psyches was more than I felt capable of. Besides, I wanted to be the master of my own time and not burdened with group leadership demands.
My life has become cozy compared to folks living at Claymont. What is there to nurture them to bear the burden of living? What is my responsibility for the ones who end up with no-where else to go. Who become alcoholic or reclusive? In this regard, I have shirked a responsibility. Perhaps those of us involved in the work at Claymont all have.
How do I support a sustaining work (inner and outer) environment at Claymont? Not just for the seminars that come, but for the people who live on the property. I think what’s needed is to widen the lens, to step back and see a larger picture.
Being Responsible
We held a work-weekend once that was able to hold its own program while incorporating responsibility for all the cooking and dishwashing for an 80-person seminar. The theme that weekend was Service and it was a rich experience. I had thought at the time that it could have provided a model but did not take responsibility for pursuing it.
One thing that has emerged in recent years is the ability to work as a leaderless group for a common aim. It has been shown that ten people can run a successful fourth-way program without any one individual carrying the burden. Perhaps a similar process could create a “residential” program that includes a rigorous inner training while serving the seminar program as practical work.
In any event, I am willing to work with others to create an internal environment that nurtures all those living at Claymont now and in the future.
Roberta,
I read Bob Sabbath’s post of Nicoll’s comments on the 2nd line of work this morning and was left wondering…. How am I practicing the 2nd line? Am I?? The post reminded me of a morning exercise we experienced during COS2.
I’ve been left wondering: How do I “give existence to another in myself, and not murder that existence with acts of self will”? (Maurice Nicoll, “Note on False Personality and Imaginary I” in Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (Vol. 3, p. 882)
Is your post pointing to the same thing?
Trish
Trish – thank you for this question. I am not sure I am exactly speaking to what Nicoll is raising. But it is about reaching out to others, in this case specific others, i.e. people who end up living and serving at Claymont. People whom I think are not necessarily seeking “the Work” based on judgments without really knowing them at all. And yes, reaching out in an objective way, with an honest invitation to share what I have to give without judging that person. And being open and curious about what they can teach me.