Personal work. That is where the path starts. But first, we need to know ourselves. Our many selves. I’m going to be looking at that again, through the eyes of someone whom knowingly or not, has taken Gurdjieff’s teaching of “many i’s” and created the Internal Family Systems Model, or IFS. I love that G’s teachings are being incorporated into the world. But that is not what I want to explore right now.
What I’m interested in spelunking in this blog, is how to find the way to one’s personal work. In the beginning, I learned the principles of work from my teachers and from what I read. Through tasks, themes, and working with others, I began to see patterns of behavior in myself, different “i’s”.
One’s Personal Work
Mrs. Popoff used to talk about one’s personal work. I didn’t know what that meant for a long time. Then, I began to see that as I made efforts, a path would open before me. If I paid attention to the clues, it would lead me to some little thing that I could set for myself. It might be something that no one else would consider work, but for me, it would be.
One good example is that Wednesday mornings I work on my blog post. My intention is to begin by 10:00 am. Yet, there’s this “i” in me that procrastinates by finding other things to attended to first. In fact, I have a hard time going in a straight line on my way to any task.
This past week, I was more than ready to get to work. I was feeling the need to buckle-down. In fact, I could have started by 9:15. My decision practice had gotten sloppy, and I needed to focus on my aim. Immediately I felt the strength of my intention to write during this allotted time. No deflections, no procrastination. Just do it. However, it’s the not doing that becomes my personal work.
Not Doing as my Work
Not opening that Amazon package, filing those papers in the basement, checking that the ceiling fans are turning counterclockwise or thinking I have a few more minutes.
I could not bear the friction of walking straight up to my study from the kitchen before 10:00 am. If I had been able to do that, I would have “worked” on myself in a way that only I could. I know this is a little piece of my personal work. How simple it seems. How hard it is in the moment.
I challenge you to find your own personal work, and work at it.