The Truth of My Life

“May the flow of my pen speak the Truth of my life.” This is part of the prayer I say before sitting down to write these blog pieces.

But what is “the Truth of my life”? It changes from day to day. But the crux of it revolves around Jack and the Work. What is it I’m here to learn?

Looking at Life

I just came across a passage in a novel by Elizabeth Gilbert, centered around the life of an 1800’s botanist who became fascinated with moss populations changing incrementally over time. After fifty years of life and study, she wrote, “The beauty and variety of the natural world are merely the visible legacies of endless war.” (even among moss colonies!) “The greater the crisis, it seems, the swifter the evolution.” “All transformation appears to be motivated by desperation and emergency.”

I was struck by these words, as they gave me hope while pointing to the times we are in. Desperation and urgency are certainly motivating people towards transformation. Gilbert’s story also echoes what Bennett said about being in the middle of a millennial change that will be catastrophic yet offer rare opportunities for inner growth.

I do believe more people are searching for meaning and finding it in the intangible, rather than the commercial; in spiritual pursuits, either religious or practice oriented. Even psychology and science appear to be addressing spirituality and/or inner growth in new ways.

My Truth

The truth of my life right now, is that I am content. I could waste energy feeling guilty that I have a good life when so many don’t. Sometimes I do. However, I had a realization from working with the Magus of Strovolos exercise the other day. There is value in feeling balanced, healthy, and full of well-being. In fact, there is an obligation. From that position, I can “spread the light,” extending this energy outward.

I saw this in action one day when I had to call customer service. By the end of the call, I sensed the service person appreciating dealing with a customer who had a problem but was not carrying any background negativity to unload.

Nor do I carry much negativity toward the exterior world. Rather, I find myself accepting and open to other points of view. If anything, these make me curious about my own assumptions and how the future may be transformed into something I don’t recognize. After all, transformation implies change.

As for my relationship with Jack, I appreciate how much we support each other, yet remain independent. He has characteristics I have come to see as examples rather than traits to be changed. There are lessons I learn from him when I work.

And Claymont— that has been clear for a long time. My relationship with Claymont is about supporting the Gurdjieff Work as I understand it through Bennett. As long as that lives at Claymont, I’ll remain involved. Such is the truth of my life right now.